Goodbye 2016, Hello 2017
This post is not about where we have been. We have been in Carrabelle, FL, for a month and have spent most of our time trying to read, play guitar, walk on the beach and relax rather than doing tourist stuff. Tomorrow we make the jump down to the Keys in search of warmer weather. Rather, this post is about looking back at 2016 as well as looking forward to 2017. It is about the challenges of the past and hope for the future. This is a bit personal and I hope it doesn’t make anyone feel uncomfortable.
In March of 2016, Michael was diagnosed with Gleason 8 (later downgraded to Gleason 7.5 by a second opinion) prostate cancer; aggressive stuff. It wasn't the kind he could live with for 30 years and still die of other causes. That news shook our world from the roots up. It changed how we felt about our priorities and made it clear that we needed to cut the stress in our lives. We knew that we had to draw closer to those people who nurture and love us unconditionally, and we also realized that we needed to put space between us and those who have been toxic, who hurt us, use us, and judge us. There were some very hard decisions to make. Another realization that went from being something we knew to something we felt so strongly we could almost taste it was how precious life is. It could end at any time without regard for anything. In one second it could end regardless of our wellbeing, where we are on our road to retirement, whether or not we are having good times or rough patches, whether we are healthy or not - any moment could be the last. Driving that point home was getting word that my beloved father had had a mini-stroke this month. At any time we could experience the devastation of losing each other. Each day really, truly became a gift more so than ever before.
In 2016 we had the privilege of visiting Belize. It was an amazing vacation and I won’t go into detail about it but that was just before Michael’s diagnosis so it could definitely have been better for him. We got some adventure in despite his illness. After his diagnosis, we went to Germany for Michael to get hyperthermia treatments. This was a medical visit but we still got to see a bit of the country and to interact with the people. Germany was a magical place for us and we both really loved the people. I felt a familiarity while in the Bavarian countryside. Maybe in a former life I lived there.
After the traveling we have done in 2016 and in the years before, I feel satisfied. If my life ended today I wouldn’t be full of regret. It has been rich, thanks mostly to my Michael. I have had some time, nowhere near enough but there just isn’t a point where there was enough time, with my soulmate. We have made innumerable heart-squeezing memories and we have seen some of this big, beautiful planet. We still have a long list of places we want to see, but after this point, it’s all just gravy on the delicious entree we have already had the privilege to enjoy.
While we love to travel, we were also not quite ready to retire. We felt we needed to get Michael to a lower altitude yet we weren’t ready to sell everything and move somewhere else. When you live in one of the most amazing places in the country, it’s hard to leave that behind so we decided to buy MARIS, our motor coach, and make our second home a rolling one. This was the second major event of 2016. With MARIS, we could continue to work while on the road and still have our home back in the mountains. Traveling would not bring us closer to those we loved, granted, but the benefits were strong enough and the justification was there that we would be returning home from time to time to visit and that we could drive to visit other family.
The third major event(s) of 2016 is the growing of our family. One son has found the love of his life, an exceptional lady, and has a child on the way AND our daughter got married to a great guy and they are also expecting a baby. In the first half of 2017, I will be a grandmother of THREE kiddos! How deeply special that is to me! While life could end at any moment, two precious little lives are starting up right now as I type and I couldn’t be happier. I miss holding an infant!
Tonight is the last night of 2016. There have been good and bad things that have happened, but Michael and I are ready to move on to the hope that 2017 offers.
What do I see for 2017? The good Lord would laugh if I told him what my plans are. He has the final say in the end. My hopes are simple. I have one very big hope. I hope, pray, dream, obsess over, study about, and visualize Michael being 100 percent cancer free. I spend my time studying how to cure it. I have a fresh approach to our diet that I will start in January. In the last few days I have realized that some of our diet has been on the no-no list. In the next two months, I have a renewed drive to approach the cure of his cancer through diet, exercise, supplements, and being stress-free, grateful, spiritual, and happy. There is a lot on my plate to make this happen for him. I have to smile while I may be crabby or sad, I have to learn how to make vegan dishes with raw uncooked foods, to make his special teas and yogurts even when I may be tired, I have to facilitate him getting enough rest and encourage him to get enough exercise even when he doesn’t feel well or when he doesn’t feel like being compliant. I have to do all the diet, rest, and exercise myself, also. I need to do everything that I am asking of him and I will do it with joy if the result is that my husband can be whole again.
I want to say, from the bottom of my heart, that I love and appreciate my family. You will be here for me when everything goes to hell in a hand basket as I will be for you. I’m here if you want to vent as I know you will be for me. I’m overjoyed that we are growing. I can’t wait to meet my two new grandbabies!!! Our family has been a source of jealousy of some other people, or so I have been told, because we are so close and because despite any dysfunction, we love each other so much. Each of us would “throw ourselves under the bus” for any other one of us even if we knew the other was wrong. We just do. We stick together. There is no better feeling of security. That is what makes us so special. I love you all with every cell in me and wish you the happiest of everything in 2017. May it be the year of growth, success, and healing for us all.
More posts and pictures to come from the Keys as we move on.
